


second servings

by royalgreen (allyoop)



Series: Clock Hands [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Developing Relationship, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Magic, Mutual Pining, Pining, Secrets, Shadowgast, Slow Build, Xhorhouse (Critical Role), dunamancy, slight Jester related shenanigans, spoilers up to episode 94, the parasol makes an appearance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:14:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24481120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allyoop/pseuds/royalgreen
Summary: Caleb was pining for Essek. And it was *terrible*.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Series: Clock Hands [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768333
Comments: 19
Kudos: 265





	second servings

**Author's Note:**

> This technically follows my other story "first risk, first kiss" but it isn't totally necessary to read that first.
> 
> Spoilers for through episode 94 "With Great Power".

_ It had been a very long day. _

“Ugh, I hate zombies.”

“I think there’s slime  _ under _ my armor.”

“Are we really going to sleep here?”

“Maybe we should leave, just keep walking.”

“We’re still surrounded by weird mist. We need to camp for the night.”

“Caleb, can you teleport us or no? Should I message Essek?”

Caleb’s head popped up hearing that. Usually he ignored the overlapping chatter of the Mighty Nein in order to focus on the ritual before him, but it was almost involuntary.

Jester was looking at him for a response.

“ _ Ja _ , perhaps.”

“I mean technically he helped with Nott’s spell. He’d probably want to know we got the curse lifted so it’ll work this time. And I bet he’d love to hear about the hag, and this crazy mist, and the exploding zombies, because life in Xhorhas is totally so boring without us around I’m sure.”

“I need to make the hut.” He pointed at the ritual half set up in front of him.

“We’ll keep an eye out.” Fjord nodded at him. “You do what you need to do.”

Caleb stiffly nodded and went back to the ritual, trying to push all other thoughts aside. Hut finished ( _ in twelve, not eleven minutes, since sixty seconds had been stuck thought-skipping on Essek _ ), Caleb motioned for everyone to enter and they all filed in. It was cramped, more so than usual with the uneven ground and broken tree branches, and they settled in with knees knocking into each other, elbows hitting against sides. 

“Anyone have a towel, a rag, or something?” Fjord was trying to wipe the poison sludge off his breastplate but it had dried down enough to just smear across the metal.

“I got this.” Beau pulled out a bottle of questionable brown liquor hidden in who-knows-where from her coat and held it out. “Swiped it from that bar.”

“That stuff could melt paint. Hand it over.” Nott held out her hands expectantly and Beau passed it over. She took a sniff, “It’s  _ terrible! _ ”, then splashed a little on her crossbow. The sludge started dripping off in chunks. “But look at that, it works!”

Rags were rummaged up and the bottle was passed around, half-drunk and half-splashed to clean, the worst of the day running off onto the ground.

“So, Jester,” Fjord started. “You want to fill us in on why we ran out of there in such a hurry? How do you know the curse is broken?”

Jester launched into the full story, the details about the cupcake and the memory spell eliciting the appropriate gasps and shock from the Nein. “...And now she thinks we're bestest friends and totally loves me. She did sound a little confused at the end, I mean I’ve never done this spell before so who knows if that’s normal, but just in case, possibly that it's not normal, I just thought it was probably smart that we should leave? Caleb can you take us out of here in the morning?”

He nodded. “Where are we going next?”

“Caduceus has a thing.” Beau gestured in his direction.

He smiled. “The Menagerie, yeah”.

“Can you teleport us straight there?” Jester spoke up. “We really should try and save some time, I mean obviously I want to help you Caduceus, but Traveler Con is coming up!”

Caleb sighed. “I’m not- I can’t do that yet. We’ll have to ask Essek if we want to go straight there.”

“Another favor?” Fjord looked wary.

“Oh but he loves us now! I’ll ask him and I'm sure he’ll be like ‘ _ oh yes Jester my favorite friend, I can totally do that for you! _ ’”

Jester looked like she was going to message him right then and there. 

Fjord jumped in. “It's actually quite late at night.” He glanced to Caleb who nodded. “Maybe we can call him in the morning. As much as I’m sure he’d love to hear your story, it can wait.” 

Everyone settled down to sleep as best as they could, their jostle of limbs and armor as uncomfortable and familiar as it always was in the hut. Caleb felt relieved but still anxious; there were so many things he wanted to say, so many conversations planned in his head, and Essek was just one of them. And that definitely wasn’t a conversation he’d ever want to have in twenty-five words translated through Jester. His mind kept racing, as usual, and he stared out at the faux-mossy ceiling of the dome trying to slow his breaths and find sleep.

“You know, I can send a message too.” Caduceus's voice was quiet, just a whisper beside him. Caleb inclined his head slightly as a response. “Yeah, no, I hate to take any joy away from Jester, so I haven’t brought it up before.”

“ _ Ja, _ she loves that spell.”

“But if you ever need to send a message that’s, that’s uhh…”

“A less chaotic message?” 

“Yeah, that.” Caleb could sense the smile in Caduceus’s voice even in the dark. “Well, you can always ask me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Caleb rolled away and onto his side. And he considered it for a long while, wondering if even trying to put anything into words would ruin it, if anything really needed to be spoken aloud. He fell asleep counting words in his head.   
  


Morning came wet and sudden, as the dome dissipated and the swampy atmosphere woke them. The mist from last night had settled onto everything as heavy, musty drops of dew.

Jester was already in energetic form. “What time is it Caleb? Should I message Essek now, do you think he’s an early riser? I wonder if he has pastries for breakfast or more of those bland cracker things he had last time.” 

After some messy minutes spent arguing details of where to go and how, Caduceus rumbling up some breakfast bites, and Caleb realizing wet grass and chalk don’t mix, the group had decided a call to Essek and some strategic stone shape were on their morning agenda.

Jester wiggled her fingers in the ever familiar way. “Question, if we needed to teleport somewhere, would you be able to do it because you love us now? Or is it still, like, not cool?”

After a brief moment, Essek’s responded. Jester repeated his words back to the group. “It depends on where you’re going. There’s always a risk, but if I’m familiar, it's possible. Tell Caleb….” Jester stopped talking and her eyebrow started inching up higher and higher. The pause seemed to stretch on forever and Caleb could feel the back of his neck heating up. And then Jester finished, “I hope the spell works this time.”

“That’s all?” Caleb asked quietly. Most of the Nein probably didn’t hear him, as Jester immediately started giggling.

“It was such a long pause, I bet he was pooping.” She snickered.

“That was a  _ long _ pause!” Nott interjected with a laugh. “Does he not eat enough fiber or something?” 

It fell into the usual group chaos and jokes, but Caleb only gave Jester a half-smile before beginning to scratch the familiar arcane symbols onto the rock below him.

_ Essek had already finished with breakfast and was perusing his research notes when Jester’s bright voice had punched through his concentration. “ _ Tell Caleb _ ,” he responded without thinking and then immediately felt a little whirl of panic. He had this sensation like a hiccup stuck in his throat, some words wanting to be spoken but he had no forethought on what they would be. What of importance could even be said in such a limited capacity, such word restrictions? He didn’t know what he would have said if he had let himself finish that thought. So he changed the subject and ended the message. _

  
  


The teleportation back to Xhorhas was the usual clanging commotion. The guards were thankfully familiar with their group and let them pass through the echoing bright halls of the Lucid Bastion without much of a second glance. Back at their Xhorhaus, Jester was first to declare her intention to take a bath and skipped off to do so. The rest of the group headed towards the hot tub, Caduceus explaining how he had found some perfect herbs and flowers to make the experience even better.

It was only midday, even with the teleport time skip, and Caleb had a shopping list in mind. He didn’t want to pause for a bath so he just shook out his coat best he could and headed into town. His eagerness to find the scrolls he was seeking was stomped down further and further as he wandered Rosohna. Every person he asked for directions seemed to point him a different way and it was increasingly evident that he was being fucked with. Being a lone human, even with the Bright Queen’s symbol around his neck, was doing him absolutely no favors. Stifling down his frustration, he turned and started retracing his steps backwards. 

His memory was sharp enough that he knew exactly how to get back to the Xhorhaus’s neighborhood. And then he deliberately went a different way. Tracing a different memorized path, he found himself outside of Essek’s gate. It was a choice, he had consciously made it, and yet he was still a little surprised to see the familiar towers before him.  _ Why did I come here? _ The group was already planning on meeting with Essek later that day, to ask for another favor, yet Caleb was here now and alone. He stared at the contraption on the roof for a while, watching the bronze rings whirl in and out of each other without touching, forming patterns that never repeated, and recorded paths Caleb wasn’t entirely familiar with. It was fascinating, just like the owner.   


He still didn’t have this conversation planned or even knew if he wanted to say anything at all. It had only been a few days since they last saw each other, just a few days since  _ kissing _ had been folded into their friendship. They hadn’t even spent much time on that subject; just kisses between spellwork and note making (and in one memorable long kiss, on top of the notes). But it felt like once he had opened that floodgate, given himself permission to embrace, kiss, touch, there was no going back. Caleb had unearthed a needy voice in the back of his mind that yearned to do that again. He was pining. It was  _ terrible _ .

And at the same time Caleb didn’t want anything to change. They were friends, they were research partners, they were teacher and student. Essek had magic and resources stored in his wizard towers that Caleb still hadn’t discovered the half of. He didn’t want to follow a new path if it meant giving up the other.

But still, Caleb’s thoughts and heart rattled and bounced as he stood outside those towers, weighing possibilities and choices, and remembering how it felt to kiss Essek when he smiled.   
  


He was staring at the towers for fourteen and a half minutes until he saw a figure on the walkway appear, walk towards the next tower, then pause looking out at the gate. Caleb almost started briskly walking away but he knew he had already been seen.

The figure entered the tower, then Essek appeared at the front door some minutes later. He stepped out and raised his hand, and the gate swung open to let Caleb in. It was a long walkway up to the front door and Caleb avoided Essek’s direct gaze the whole path. ( _ Why did I come here, alone, now, why? I shouldn’t be pursuing this, not now, I shouldn’t. I can’t. This is easier to ruin than simple friendship. This is complicated. There’s still things I need, we need, from Essek. I shouldn’t, but I want to.) _

He stepped in and Essek closed the door behind him. Everything looked the same as before; most of the furniture pushed to the sides, everything returned to its clean state, no errant chunks of clay to be found. 

He turned to Essek. “I’m sorry for dropping in unannounced like this, I hope I’m not interrupting.”

Essek glided a few steps forward, then remembered, and settled onto the ground with a half-smile to Caleb. “It is fine, Jester said you were coming back so I had assumed a visit would be happening. I didn’t expect you alone though. I take it you were successful in lifting the curse? Have you tried the spell again?”

“Yes, but also no. The curse is broken, but we only just got back a few hours ago. I went shopping, or at least I tried to, and then…I came here.” Caleb was starting to feel a little awkward; after dashing away from Essek’s place the last time they were all here, he had come back empty-handed having not even tried his spell ( _ their spell) _ again.

Essek looked mildly concerned. “Were you not able to find what you needed in town?”

“It seems particularly difficult to find scrolls if you’re a human.”

Essek nodded in understanding. “You’re looking for new spells? Don’t waste your gold. You already know where the most curated selection of scrolls are.” He gestured up towards the ceiling.

Caleb let out a self-deprecating laugh. “Yes, of course. I should have asked you. But I already owe you so many favors.”

Essek waved a hand. “I’ve stopped counting. You’ll pay me back in some way. The dunamis vial already balanced the scales more than you know.”

“I could think of no one else to give it to. You’ll study it in the way it needs.” Caleb was brimming with curiosity but stifled it out of his voice, not wanting to sound too eager. “How has that been going? The research?”

“I have many things on my plate right now,” Caleb kept staring until Essek elaborated a little. “I've never seen anything like it, it’s fascinating and improbable. I look forward to learning more when I can give it my full attention.” 

“I can help, if you need.”

“You would be a welcome research partner, as usual.” Essek smiled warmly for a moment, and then it faded as he gave Caleb a slow once-over. “Every time I see you after an adventure you’re always covered in something. May I?”

Caleb stood still anticipating a spell, but Essek reached forward to remove the overcoat from his shoulders. He jerked away in surprise and Essek pulled his hands back in reaction.

“I thought... Magic-”

“Oh no, this needs actual physical cleaning. And then maybe  _ mending _ for the acid damage…” Essek inspected the coat, looking slightly exasperated at its state.

“Of course, yes.” Caleb nodded and shrugged the coat off. 

“I think the tunic too.”

Caleb was left in his shirt (and ever-present book holsters) as he handed Essek the garments and followed him further inside to a section of the tower Caleb hadn’t been in before. Every time they reached a door, there was a quiet click before Essek touched the handles, the locks seemingly opening on invisible command. They entered a small room, clean and relatively empty except for two porcelain wash basins on a counter, a small shelf of glass jars, and a large basin resting on the floor. Essek looked at the coat in his hand and appraisingly back at Caleb.

“Do you want to borrow a jacket while you wait? It’s a cold environment for a human.”

“Oh, no. This is not that cold.”

“I’m holding two of your outer layers and this is a stone tower.”

“I’ll be fine. And I don't want to mess up your clothes.”

“No, I insist.” He raised a hand, did an intricate finger motion, and a grey slash in the air appeared. Essek reached a hand in, visibly disappearing into the space, and reappeared with a folded garment.

Caleb couldn’t contain the glint in his eyes. “Can you teach me that?” 

“It takes time”

“Oh, well, no worries, you’ve already done so much for me. For us.”

The warm smile returned to Essek’s face. “And I've told you already, I’ve stopped counting.”

He held the coat out to Caleb who took it. He unfolded the coat to admire it for a second before putting it carefully on. It was a deep slate blue, embroidered with silver thread in a similar swirling geometric pattern as Essek’s own garments. He looked towards Essek who nodded in approval.

Essek went to stand beside the largest of the basins, selecting a handful of the jars from the shelf as he did so. He placed Caleb’s coat, in all its blood-stained, poison-wrecked, slightly burnt glory, into the basin and sprinkled the contents of the jars on top. He waved one hand; it began to fill with water. He waved another; and the water began to gently roll like a captured well of ocean waves. “I didn’t say I’d do it completely without magic” He met Caleb’s eye with a grin. 

Leaving the coat and tunic to wash, they began up the floating stairwell path to the arcane study at the top of the tower, a place Caleb was growing increasingly fond of. After perusing the handful of scrolls Essek withdrew from his locked shelf, Caleb picked the one he saw as the most useful and immediately sat crossed-legged on the stone floor in his usual position. Essek pulled a stool up to his desk, piled with books and various vials and jars, and went back to work. Caleb noticed the silvery grey dunamis was held aloft in a place of honor in a vise on the middle of the desk. He almost asked again, the curiosity bubbling against his tongue, but instead Caleb leaned back over his own scroll and focused on his copying.

A half hour passed with no noise but the scratch of ink on paper and the occasional clink of components in glass. Caleb leaned back a little to stretch his shoulders and push his hair out of his eyes. As he rolled his neck in a stretch he noticed Essek staring at him with a pensive look on his face, which softened into a smile when Caleb raised an eyebrow. He turned back to the book before him and Caleb returned to copying with vigor, wanting to finish his work before the Nein noticed his errand was running quite long.

He was nearly at the end now, jotting the last runes of the scroll into his own spellbook, pausing only to tuck his hair behind his ears every few minutes. As he finished, suddenly he felt a warmth behind him, fingers gently combing through his hair, and then his hair stopped falling forward. “You won’t win against gravity. I’m tying it back for you.” 

Caleb looked up at Essek, saw the fond look in his eyes and returned the smile. Essek’s hands were still resting on his shoulders, and that newfound hunger stirred, chasing the morsel of opportunity before him. “Do you want to take a break?” Caleb asked.

Essek nodded. “I could make tea, or something to eat, if you want.” He seemed slightly eager to keep Caleb there for longer. “Your clothes will need time to dry.”

“Or…” Caleb stood up to face Essek.

“Or?” 

Caleb put his hands on Essek’s waist, drawing him in a few inches. “Do you think about me, when I’m not here?” That yearning voice in the back of his mind had grabbed the driver’s seat, much against his better judgement.

“I’ve been busy.” Caleb paused, his hands just hovering on Essek’s waist. Essek placed his own hands on top of Caleb’s. “Even so, I find myself trying to focus on my work and instead I look at books on my shelf thinking  _ ‘Caleb would like this one’ _ . Or I look at my notes and I wonder what insight you would bring to my ideas. You seem to haunt my laboratory lately.” 

Caleb looked over his shoulder, “Which book? Can you show me?” He looked back at Essek with a teasing smile. 

Essek didn’t notice the tease, he was gazing up and down Caleb’s body, smoothing his hands along his shoulders and down his arms. “I picked this one thinking the color would suit you.” A sly grin rose on Essek’s face. “It’s...  _ nice _ seeing you in my clothes” 

“It’s still much too fancy for me.” Caleb rotated his arm a little, letting the silver thread glisten in the low light. 

“No,” Essek slid his arms under the coat, to wrap against Caleb's waist. “It's a sign of power. Did you know certain patterns are reserved for certain dens? You’re wearing  _ Thelyss _ .” He leaned in, an intense look in his eyes as he let those words spark between them, before capturing Caleb’s lips with his own. That yearning beast rumbled happily in Caleb’s chest. He ran a hand through Essek’s hair as he cradled his head. His hair was silky and soft, just like his skin, just like his clothes. Caleb kissed his way across his jaw, seeking that sensitive spot just under Essek’s ear, the one he had previously discovered pleased Essek so much. As expected, he let out a quiet satisfied hum as Caleb nibbled and kissed, which made Caleb eager to replicate it on the other side.

Essek kept his own hands busy untucking Caleb's shirt to run up his bare back, fingers digging in just enough to elicit a breathy moan from Caleb. “That’s a new sound.” Essek sounded a little proud of himself. He lightly scraped his nails down from Caleb’s shoulder to hips, causing him to shudder and gasp again.

Caleb was out of practice, definitively unused to vocalizing his wants or his needs, but he let his gasps and moans be audible for Essek to explore. This path had been thrown open with their first kiss, and they just kept racing further and further towards  _ more _ . And Caleb wanted it, had trouble stopping himself from pursuing it. It had been too long,  _ too long _ , since he felt skin against his skin strike heat like this. Caleb let instinct lead the way and started to walk them backwards, aiming for the desk, hoping to take notes on what Essek would sound like when pushed against it. 

Misjudging the distance as he was distracted by Essek biting and sucking on his bottom lip, they bumped into the desk, causing the sound of tinkling glass.    
Essek sharply turned to look. “ _ No! _ ” He snapped. After watching the rattling instruments slow their movement without any falling casualties, he took a deep breath and looked apologetically to Caleb. “There’s only one vial of that dunamis so far, I was worried that-.”

“I’m sorry-” Caleb started to pull away from him. “I got carried away.”

Essek turned him around by the shoulders and walked him back towards the wall instead. “This is not your home; you don’t know the layout yet.” A darkened hungry look sparkled in Essek’s eyes. “ _ Let me _ .” He pushed Caleb against the wall, pinning his hips with his hands. “There’s a few things I'm still curious about.” He ran his hands under Caleb's shirt to untuck the front and skimmed his nails across his stomach, causing a shivery feeling in its wake.  “What do you like, Caleb? Pleasure?” Essek murmured against his neck, pressing gentle kisses between words. Then he scraped his teeth against where he had been kissing, biting lightly. “Pain?”

Caleb was panting already, but honestly far too turned on to feel properly embarrassed. “A little of both, I think.”

Essek unbuttoned a few more inches of Caleb’s shirt, kissing down his sternum, eager to trace each new inch of skin with his mouth. “Is it a human thing, to want both?”

“We’re each unique.”

Essek paused his movements, taking a moment to look him in his eyes. “I want to learn more. About you.”

“And what I like?”

A hint of unsureness crossed through Essek’s expression. “If you’ll let me”

“ _ Yes _ .” It came out more emphatically than intended, but Caleb had left composure behind ten minutes ago. “I want to- Can I-” Caleb fumbled with Essek’s elaborate shirt clasps. “Let me return the favor. If I can just-  _ Scheisse _ _!_ These are impossible.”

Essek laughed, and rather than ruin the mood, the genuine sound made Caleb’s butterflies flutter a little stronger. “I’ve discovered your weakness. Surprising.” He reached up to help Caleb with the swirled clasps, revealing an extra few inches of blushing purple skin that Caleb quickly took advantage of. 

It was his turn to elicit some new sounds from Essek. Each quiet little gasp felt like a tally mark in this match and Caleb was hoping to win. Essek’s shirt was asymmetrical in closure, so each open clasp only went tantalizingly sideways in its reveal. Caleb kept his mouth busy with soft kisses along Essek’s collarbone and let his hands try another tactic. He slid them up Essek’s thighs to his ass (getting a delicious sharp inhale as a reaction) and pushed him against his own waist, slotting their bodies closer together. A friction was starting to build up, the heat between them whispering encouraging words to Caleb's instinct, and he rolled his hips up against Essek. They both gasped in reaction. Caleb tried to capture each gasp with his mouth, enjoying hearing Essek lose composure with each moan.

Then Essek shifted, sliding a thigh against Caleb’s groin, the new change in friction causing Caleb to knock his head back against the wall with a groan. Essek took advantage, his mouth on Caleb’s neck a little sharper, peppering bites between kisses as his hands rose higher under Caleb’s shirt. Caleb bucked his hips forward, giving in to the sensation, letting his body lead the way. Then suddenly Essek lifted his head back, nearly knocking into Caleb’s jaw, gasping out “ _ Jester! _ ”

It was definitely  _ not _ the name Caleb wanted to hear at this moment. But then Essek pulled back to point at his head and Caleb understood.

“Jester, yes.” He looked pointedly at Caleb as he responded. He spoke with extra diction, trying to keep his words deliberate and steady. “I will be in my tower all day, you and the Nein may drop by whenever you need my help today.” Essek stepped back from Caleb unsteadily, then leaned against the cool stone wall. He had one hand pressed to his chest, looking a little bewildered at how fast it was beating. Reality was starting to crash back down for Caleb. Essek looked thoroughly, and there was no better word for it,  _ debauched _ , with his mostly unbuttoned shirt, wildly mussed up hair, and flushed skin that rose up his chest all the way to his ears. Caleb was certain he looked about the same. ( _ Mein Gott, this is dangerous _ ). He wanted to stay, but his ringing inner alarm clock told him it was well past when he was expected back to the Xhorhaus.

Caleb began gathering his books and materials from the floor and turned back to Essek. He was still leaning against the wall, watching. He met Caleb’s eyes and his expression was hard to decipher. Just as his flush faded, his expression seemed to be cooling down as well. Caleb wanted to ask  _ what’s on your mind? _ but instead he asked, “My coat?” 

“Yes, let’s go back downstairs.”

Essek seemed unfocused as they descended the stairs, floating more than halfway down before remembering to take solid steps as well. Caleb took his own steps slowly, the crystal stairs bouncing his reflection back up at him like he was walking on fragile glass. The list of potential conversations he wanted to have just doubled in his head.

Back in the laundry room, Essek pulled the wet garments gently out of the basin and handed them to Caleb. He held them at arm’s length from himself, immediately picking up on Essek’s intentions.

Essek skimmed his hand through the air and all at once the water was pulled off in thick rivulets, hovering around the coat in circular rings akin to the ones on the roof. Then gravity suddenly turned back on and the water splashed down into the basin.  _ Magic. _

Caleb carefully took off his borrowed coat, trying not to snag a single silver thread, and put his own garments back on. They looked brighter somehow and definitely lacked any lingering trace from their recent fights.

It was a quiet goodbye, and a quicker one than their usual. Essek led Caleb to the door with his back to him ( _ oh how Caleb wished he could watch his expression, see if the shift he sensed was bad or good, ruinous or rewarding _ ), and opened the door with a warm smile to Caleb.

“We shall be seeing each other again soon.” 

“It seems so. Should we-?” Caleb didn’t quite know how to finish the sentence. 

Essek looked at him for a few heartbeats of time, head tilted, searching Caleb’s own expression. “I think, and perhaps you would agree, if someone asks then this is not a secret. But it would be unlikely that anyone would ask.”

Caleb nodded. “See you soon.” And he headed out, eyes a little narrowed, and head rattling around the implication of which  _ this _ was the secret to be kept.

  
  


Caleb returned, the whole Mighty Nein with him, just over an hour later. Essek was already framed in his doorway and the gate opened for them at their approach. Caleb hung back as they entered his home, letting the rest of his boisterous group explain their new quest and destination. It didn’t pass his notice though that Essek had changed his clothes. He was much less rumpled and flushed than last Caleb had seen. His eyes lingered on Essek, scanning his lips and jaw, trying to find a trace of where he had been earlier. No one was paying attention to him so Caleb allowed himself this indulgence.

After some minutes of back and forth about the location of the Lagoon and the possible risk in transport, Caleb snapped back into focus as the furniture in the foyer was pushed magically to the sides of the room. 

“Let us all take hands, if you are ready.” Essek looked at the group expectantly.

Jester grabbed his hand first. “May the Traveler be with you, my child.”

“Thank you, Jester.” Caleb could see he was trying not to smile.

Caduceus took Essek’s other hand, and the rest of the group followed suit until they formed a circle in the room. 

“To Whitedawn Lagoon.” Essek met Caleb’s eyes with a secretive smile. “Fingers crossed.” He mouthed.

The room darkened suddenly, then relit with glowing threads as Essek began his incantations. The pale grey lines wove and danced between them, forming an intricate circle that laced them all together as one. Then  _ whoosh! _ and they were sent off again with the familiar sensation of being folded bodily inward and pushed through a pinhole tube, and then popped back out the other side, thankfully whole. They had reached their destination, intact and sane.

_ Magic.. _ . Caleb looked over at Essek, who was squinting against the sudden appearance of the sun in the sky.  _ Magic was wonderful. _

“Ah,” Essek was raising a hand to the sun, trying to block the light from his eyes. “I think this was a success.”

They looked around, taking in the radically different landscape, so welcome after their stint in the dark. A lush jungle was before them, overgrown with colors and life, and an ocean to the south scattered sunlight with each wave.

Caduceus was grinning in the warmest Caduceus way. “This looks about right.” He turned away from the jungle to smile at everyone.

Jester was watching Essek with a dangerously playful look to her eye. “When was the last time you saw the sun?”

Essek squint ed at her. "It's been a number of, I think probably since the last time I took you somewhere this bright."

“Does it hurt you?”

He shrugged. "It's not comfortable, but it is tolerable. Is this what you were seeking?"

Caduceus looked back towards the junglescape. “Sure. I think. I don’t know these mountains, but the jungle looks like the visions I had.”

Jester sat down on the sand and pulled out her paints as they talked. Nott stood at her shoulder, occasionally pointing and whispering into Jester’s ear. After a minute she stood up and reached down to her drawing, pulling a parasol up with it into reality. It was something befitting the decor of the Pillow Trove, or perhaps a stage play about retired courtesans who now weave the best lace in Nicodranas. It was pink with scalloped edges, abundantly embroidered with delicate flowers, and paired with a white handle that Caleb thought ended suspiciously with a carved dick shape. 

Jester handed it to Essek who raised it gratefully above his head. “Thank you, Jester.” 

She looked proud of herself. “You’re welcome.”

“There’s dicks hidden on each of the panels, isn’t there?” Fjord grinned at Jester who did a lip-zipping motion and winked. Essek looked like he absolutely did not care, holding the parasol aloft with relief on his face.

Beau nudged Caleb. “He’s so cute with his parasol.”

“Hmm?” Caleb glanced sideways to look at Beau who was still watching Essek.

“Oh my god he’s still floating. With the parasol.  _ Ugh _ , I hate that I’m starting to like him!”

“Yes, well, he’s been growing in likability.” 

Beau was still grumbling under her breath. “-has good taste in wine too, brought that bottle to dinner the other night.”

Caleb wanted to ask her, wanted to  _ tell _ her, his partner-in-library-crime and fellow Empire child. But how could he subtly drop “ _ do you trust him?” _ into conversation, or  _ “would you judge me if I told you I’m wary, but I like him despite that, want to kiss him and ignore everything else?” _ . It was a decision for another day, another conversation he may never find the time to say.

And she was quite right, despite the ruckus of overlapping feelings in his head.

Essek  _ was _ delightfully cute with that lacy parasol.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading and commenting!  
> It was your encouragement with my last story to spark the idea for this sequel <3
> 
> You can also find me crying about wizards on my [tumblr](https://caleb-says-nein.tumblr.com/)


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